My kitchen was once a sanctuary, a place where I could indulge in my favorite snacks and treats. But that all changed when Daltontook over my home. He has a voracious appetite, and his favorite foods seem to be the ones I cherish the most. My Pop Tarts, Pringles, and onion rings have all fallen victim to his insatiable hunger. I've tried hiding my food, but it's a futile effort. Dalton is covered in a strange, slimy substance that allows him to slip through even the smallest cracks and crevices. No matter where I hide my snacks, he always seems to find them.
HE ONLY RESPONDS TO "DALTON". NOTHING ELSE WORKS. IT'S LIKE HE'S PROGRAMMED TO IGNORE EVERYTHING ELSE. I'VE TRIED TALKING TO HIM, BUT HE JUST GRUNTS AND GIGGLES LIKE A MORON.
It's infuriating, and I've found myself screaming at him in frustration, but he just won't listen.
IT'S THE WORST THING I'VE EVER HEARD. IT'S LIKE THEY'RE TRYING TO DRIVE ME CRAZY WITH THEIR OFF-BEAT RHYTHMS AND EAR-SHATTERING BASS.
THIS IS DALTON. THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE. HE'S UGLY, HE'S MEAN, AND HE'S RUINING MY LIFE.
If you can read this, please, please help me. Give me my life back. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm begging you, please, someone, anyone, help me get rid of Dalton and restore my sanity.
THE AGONY OF LIVING WITH DALTON 
